Low Life: The Night Train of Beers

Miller High LifeFor those who haven't heard I have been challenged to brew a clone of Miller High Life. You may ask why I would agree to such a task, which would be a stone cold logical response to that statement. Well... the gauntlet was laid out by Derek, a fellow homebrewer and the owner of 706. In a moment of post workday alcohol fueled braggadocio, I said something to the tune of "I can brew this." If that doesn't sound like me to ya'll, then add the mildest of southern drawls and pepper in some expletives and that should tick off the rest of the boxes on your mental checklist. So yeah... this is a thing that is happening now. We will be serving it at 706 on the evening of January 31st, and when you accept the High Life challenge, you will receive the one and only champagne of beers and a complimentary pour of my attempt to play God. You must then select which is the original so that Derrick and I can complete our side bet. So, if you have that evening free, we would love for you to come by and revel in my assured failure. While I cannot promise you a clone of High Life, what I can promise is the closest thing that your average home brewer can muster. Steps are being taken to mimic Big 3 practices at every turn. This beer has been produced from the finest ingredients we carry at the shop that are similar to the genetically modified organisms found in High Life. It has been triple cold boiled, quadruple filtered and pentuple distilled. It was then rehydrated with water from the ice found in the core of the glacier where the old gods are said to slumber. They say the miners who bring us said water hear voices as they dig and eventually go mad. Furthermore this beer will be served from a vortex keg which magically gets cold when you put it ice and then passed through a randalizer of creamed corn. This is just the beginning of the pains I have gone through for you people, because I love you. So come out and have a glass of what I have lovingly named, Low Life: The Night Train of Beers, and feel free to ridicule me for my failed attempt and just the overall concept of my participation in this exercise in awesomeness.


Bobby Bendily

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